


The Meaning of Friendship

by jillc



Category: His Dark Materials (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hopes and Dreams, Male-Female Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:13:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29164023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jillc/pseuds/jillc
Summary: Summary: Will has a restless night, his father active in his mind. He reflects on his journey this far and what the future may mean for him.
Relationships: Lyra Belacqua/Will Parry, Will Parry & John Parry, Will Parry and Elaine Parry
Kudos: 14





	The Meaning of Friendship

It was at night that he sensed it the most, especially when his father called to him. He would wake up instantly, every part of his being alert. But all around him would be nothing, a huge space of emptiness surrounded him. He would end up looking around him, but mostly everyone remained asleep oblivious to his situation. As always in Will’s life, he remained isolated from those around him with one noticeable exception.

He turned to look at her sleeping silently beside him. He marvelled at how quiet Lyra was when she slept, he could barely hear her breathing even. When she was awake, she was a force of nature. As loud in life, as she was quiet in her sleep. It made him smile even in this troublesome hour. He thought back to what Serafina had told him when she had spoken about the prophecy. She had said he must not forget that she was his responsibility.  


He had remembered how galling it felt to be told that, he was after all, the boy who always took his responsibilities seriously. But as he thought about the path that he and Lyra had already been on he knew it was true. He would go to war for her if he had too. That was how important she had become to him. He also did not doubt that she would do the same for him. In Lyra’s case she would probably lead the charge as well. He tried to settle back down, until a small voice to his side spoke.

“More bad dreams?” 

He looked at Pan who was in his red panda form, he wondered how much he could share. 

“Just the usual, my dad talking to me. At times I can see him so clearly, other times it’s as if he is in a haze.”

“Does it still scare you?” Pan asked, sitting to the side of Will, his face tilted as if considering an important decision.

“Sometimes,” Will admitted, feeling slightly self-conscious confessing the fact. “It’s happening almost every night now.”

“He must be close by then,” Pan said, tossing his head from side to side making his red fur even more bushy. 

“You think that is why it happens so frequently?” Will asked, anxious for any hopeful sign.

“Perhaps.” Pan replied, looking down. 

The moon shone brightly in the distance giving the landscape a golden glare and bathing everything in light. For a time, Will sat there staring at the sight. Another time, he would have marvelled at the beauty of it. But his mind was elsewhere, inside his father’s restless callings and the endless waiting of when they would meet. He had so many questions for him, that he wondered if there would ever be enough time, to ask any of them. He briefly thought back to his past life and once more his mother’s face shone brightly in his memory. He hoped she was still okay, he worried about her constantly even now. He imagined the idea of arriving back in his Oxford alongside his father and the affect it would have on her. They could at last be a family, like he had always dreamed about. He closed his eyes, as if trying to keep hold of the dream. His happy thoughts were interrupted as he noticed Lyra turning in her sleep. He watched her for a second wondering if she would wake up. He just could not settle down and for a second had a need to wake her up, just so he could talk to someone.

“Lyra?” he whispered softly. He went to touch her lightly but then thought better off it. She would need her sleep if they were to continue going up the mountain. He tried to settle back down on the ground, but the moment he did he felt restless and his eyes refused to stay shut.

He decided to take a walk over to the stream and have a drink. His throat felt dry, his breathing heavy. He tried to forget the pain in his fingers which once again were throbbing, causing his arm to feel tense and uncomfortable. He eased himself down using his good hand to throw the cold water into his mouth. As he did so, he caught his reflection and felt shocked by his haggard appearance. He barely recognised the face that stared back at him. His eyes were heavily bruised from the fight, his cheeks hollow, but it was more the way he looked old beyond his young years. As he sat starring, he felt so vulnerable and alone, he longed for his mum to hug him like she used to when he was small. But now she was in another world, while he was stuck in this other strange land which was so different to his own. He felt exhausted and very slowly eased himself up, leaning on the knife as he did so. After a quick look down the path he went back to where Lyra lay. As he slid down onto the ground beside her, her voice startled him.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes,” he lied, hoping she could not read his face. “I just needed a drink,”

Lyra was sitting up and he felt uncomfortable under her intense gaze. “You can’t lie like I can Will Parry,” she said.

Will looked at her and was about to argue, but then realised there was little point. She was right, he could not lie like she could. 

“I can lie,” he muttered, feeling suddenly stubborn.

“Can you really?” Lyra asked, as if challenging him to prove it.

“I had to lie to the school-teachers about my mum. I had to pretend everything was alright when she suddenly appeared out of nowhere. I didn’t want any of the authorities involved so I would pretend that everything was normal.”

“What would they have done?” Lyra asked, her hand lightly on his shoulder.

“They would have taken me into care and put my mother into a home. I could not stand the idea of that. She was not always like that, when I was younger, she would tell me stories and give me hugs. But then her mind started to change, she began to act strangely. It came on so suddenly.”

“It must have been difficult for her especially with your dad not coming back,” Lyra pointed out, her head leaning on his shoulder.

Will appreciated the touch and eased his head onto Lyra’s and they sat there for a few minutes content in some silence and just companionship. He marvelled at how he could suddenly open-up to her, when before he would keep everything hidden. It felt so good to have someone he could talk too, without being picked on. He wondered for a moment if Lyra was aware of how much she had changed about him. He knew she constantly blamed herself for Roger’s death and he understood the burden it put on her emotionally. He felt it whenever he was looking after his mother. 

He wondered what his dad would be like. He remembered the video he watched at home, not so long ago. He remembered how it gave him a window into his father’s world and once more the words his mother spoke came back to him.

“You don’t realise, this world is broken. It takes extraordinary people to fix it. People like your father like you. You will pick up his mantle. There are more battles to fight!”

He still did not truly understand what she meant by it, he hoped he would get the chance to ask his father. Maybe soon, and they could take on the task together and then he would get to know more about him. He suddenly felt desperate for it to happen, as if reading his mind Lyra put her hand over his.

“You will get to meet him soon Will.” She said, “Then you can ask all the questions you’ve longed for all these years.”

Will smiled suddenly. “Imagine me returning to my world with my father, the look on my mum’s face. We could start being a proper family, just like I always dreamed.”

As he turned to look at Lyra, he noticed although she genuinely smiled at the thought there was a cloud over her face. In that moment he realised the conflict in his hopes. It would mean parting from his friend and somehow the dream faded as quickly as it began. Then he thought, there is no reason why Lyra could not come back as well. What would be stopping them? 

“You know, there is no reason why you couldn’t come back with me,” he said, a smile on face.

Lyra smiled, “But you would want to be with your parents at least in the beginning.”

“There would be time for both you and my parents. We’d have all the time in the world.”

“I would like to meet your mum,”

“You’d get on with her really well. She would fuss over the pair of us,” Will said, his mind suddenly feeling less stressed.

“I bet you would be doing the fussing Will,” Lyra smiled, looking at him with deep affection. “Look how you take care of me,”

“We take care of each other,” 

“Yes, we do. I have always taken care of my friends, that’s why what happened to Roger was so hard to take,”

“You need to stop blaming yourself Lyra,” Will said, “You can’t have known how far your father was prepared to go,”

“Maybe not. But it was something which Roger said, which I now realise I should have acted on. If I could have that day back again”

“Lyra, torturing yourself like this won’t lead to any good, believe me. I am pretty sure Roger would not want you to blame yourself either.”

“But– “

“I mean it. Sometimes we take on too much responsibility on ourselves. It was like when I was looking after my mum and she kept turning up at my school, confused. These boys would laugh at her. I would hate myself that I couldn’t make them stop. But in the end, I realised, fighting against them just made everything worse. Sometimes you just have to accept the situation and carry on regardless.”

“I wish I could be like that Will. I think I have too much of my mother and father in me. It’s maybe why I do things which are not sensible.”

Will laughed softly, “You just have a bit of feral in you. Like the time you pinned me to a table!”

“You did sneak up behind me!” she said, laughing.

“I won’t make that mistake again.”

“We were so different, but look how close we are now.” Lyra said, her eyes connecting with his.

In the end, he had to look away. He hated how he was unable not to appear shy or awkward. But he knew she was right; they had indeed come a long way. If there was one thing this journey had told him it was his life would never be quite the same again. That was entirely down to meeting Lyra and experiencing the one thing he had never had before. A meaningful friendship. Whatever happened with his father, he knew he would always have that.


End file.
